I Won't Say It
by theoddpocalypse
Summary: In the time following her crazy sleepover, Star has begun to feel more isolated from Marco as he finally gets the courage to ask out Jackie. But is Star feeling just natural friend jealousy, or is it something more?


So here's my shitty response to Sleepover. I have so many feelings and I just needed to get something out or I was going to go crazy. Sorry it's incredibly wordy, but it's the first thing I've written in almost half a year so cut me some slack.

I got a little bit of song inspiration from the Disney Classic "I Won't Say I'm In Love." This is not a song fic, it was just something that helped me get into the spirit of what I wanted to write. Anyways, I hope you like it.

* * *

It started as early as their first date.

Marco had come downstairs- dressed in a button up shirt and red tie- all excited for his very first date with Jackie Lynn Thomas. Ever since the sleepover, the two had started talking more at school, and then Marco finally asked her out to a movie and dinner. And Star was happy for him.

No, really, she was.

She had been rooting for them all along, hadn't she? Star knew how Marco felt and she was happy that he was so happy. So what if it meant a night that they couldn't binge watch some cheesy television while munching on Marco's famous nachos. They'd done that a million times before and surely they would do it a million times more.

So Star ignored the weird twinge in her gut when Marco called out that he'd be back later. It was probably nothing. She was just used to hanging with Marco every night, and this was just something different. It's not like she would never see her best friend again.

Until that's kinda almost exactly what happened.

The first date lead to a second date. Which lead to a third. Then a fourth. And then all of sudden, Marco was seeing Jackie somehow more than he saw Star, which was weird considering they lived in the same house. And Star was initially really happy for him… until she suddenly realized how lonely she was without him.

She tried to distract herself. She would hang out with Pony Head or Janna or even Starfan13, but it just wasn't the same. Not because she didn't have fun with them, but because they weren't Marco.

And Star wasn't even aware of the jealousy at first, not until it started gnawing at her insides. She would see them joking around at lunch or walking to their classes together and at first she could just tell herself it was because she missed her friend. But then she started getting irritated with the way Marco _looked_ at Jackie. Now that part, she didn't understand. Why would that bother her? Jackie was beautiful, and Marco liked her, of course he'd look at her that way.

But Star's mind starting supplying little things like _he should be looking at you that way_. Or _what does she have that you don't?_ Or _how could she possibly be better for him than you when no one knows him better than you do._ The thoughts were very conflicting to what she thought she felt about Marco. They were just friends, best friends, so why was she all of a sudden wishing he would turn that adorable smitten gaze on her?

And then she realized how often she had started attributing words like adorable to her best friend. Affectionate terms people generally used when talking about someone they had… a crush on.

No, she didn't have a crush on Marco Diaz. No, she couldn't possibly. He was her roommate. Her best friend in the entire world and on any dimension (sorry Pony Head). Her partner in monster butt kicking. Just because he was probably the nicest guy she'd ever met, always put others before himself, was endearingly smart, and made amazing food… was actually pretty cute, especially with his adorable little mole and his warm brown eyes…. No, no, she could not have a crush. Not on Marco. She liked Oskar. She had since she first laid her eyes on him.

But did she really? Because when Star really thought about Oskar, she wondered what she saw in him besides his bad boy-ness. She had always fallen for the bad boy types, and as much as Marco claimed to be a misunderstood bad boy, he just wasn't. Had she just seen Oskar and her brain had supplied her with "yup, a bad boy, there's your crush."

Oskar didn't really have much substance. Yeah, he was nice and cute, and he could play that keytar like it was nothing, but was he really what Star wanted? Her brain was so jumbled with thoughts, she couldn't think straight anymore. But she knew for one thing- she did not have a crush on Marco Diaz.

Then again, the Truth or Punishment block did say someone had been lying about their crush… What if in the end, she really was the one who had been lying? But wouldn't she know for sure? Aren't crushes supposed to be a pretty easy tell when you're a teenager? How could she possibly feel something for someone and not even know about it?

No, no. She did not have a crush on Marco Diaz. She couldn't have a crush on Marco Diaz.

* * *

It had been a couple months now since that first date. Marco was in great spirits, but Star definitely was not. Every day, it got harder and harder to watch him go off with Jackie and completely cast her aside. They didn't even have TV nights with nachos anymore. Sure, they fought the occasional gang of monsters together, but lately she found herself battling them on her own.

And you know it's bad when even the monsters say something about Marco's absence as they actively try steal your wand.

But now it was just a routine, being by herself. It was a Saturday night, and Marco had already left. Star had asked numerous other friends if they wanted to do anything, but all of them had plans. Even _Ferguson_ was busy. She honestly just felt sad as she flipped through the channels on the TV, nothing catching her interest.

But then the door opened, and she looked up. Marco walked in. He saw her and smiled a little awkwardly. Star's heart fluttered at the sight, and she wanted to punch herself in the chest to make it stop. She sat up so she could see him fully. "You're back already?" she asked. She didn't want to seem too excited at the prospect. He wasn't supposed to be home for a while, but there he was, standing in the doorway and looking a little bit like deer caught in headlights.

Would Star be a bad person if she hoped they broke up? Would that make her just a bad friend? Yes, it absolutely would. But in that moment, did she care all that much? Not really. There was a far too big glimmer of hope for her to really care if it made her a bad friend.

Marco scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, well… I don't know, it seemed kind of off tonight. Jackie wasn't in the best mood. I don't know. I've said that twice. Anyways, I just figured maybe it'd be better to postpone and come home for the night. Besides, we haven't really hung out in a while. Sorry about that," he responded, his voice sheepish. The butterflies were definitely fluttering. She really missed him so much.

"No, no, it's okay. I mean, I can't blame you. You've wanted to be with Jackie forever," Star said, giving him a small smile. "Plus, I've been pretty bored tonight. Pony Head had to do some royal stuff and Janna had some plans that might've involved petty theft. Even Ferguson couldn't hang out with me. So I wouldn't mind a little binging and some nachos with my best friend," she added. Marco smiled, his face lighting up a little. It was probably the most wonderful sight Star had seen in a long time.

"Of course. I'll get right on that. Be back in a few minutes! Find us something really juicy to watch and make fun of." She'd barely heard him from how loud the sound of her heartbeat thumping was in her ears, but she nodded regardless, her face lighting up in a similar fashion to his. Marco kicked off his shoes and walked off towards the kitchen. Star watched him go, and once he was out of sight, she let out the longing sigh she'd been holding in. So she was pretty sure he and Jackie hadn't broke up, it'd just been a bad night for them. Then again, she didn't know for sure what that meant for the future of his relationship with Jackie. Had they often had bad nights? Were things not as wonderful as they seemed? Star didn't really know and she wasn't planning on bringing anything like that up.

There was one thing, however, that she did now knew for sure. There was no point in denying it any further, no matter how hard she tried. The time spent apart, the unmistakable jealousy. It all only meant one thing. Yup… she most definitely had a crush on Marco Diaz.


End file.
